Resolutions

This morning, on the day before my 26th birthday, I resolve to:

Stop eating until my belly is full and bloated, to the point where I feel like I could throw up, and my jeans don't want to stay buttoned of their own accord anymore. (This will probably require giving up jelly candies.)

Stop being attracted to narcissists.

Stop being wildly attracted to narcissists with issues that I think are "fixable."

Stop being so comfortable with avoidance of my own issues; making it thus more comfortable to be attracted to narcissists with issues for me to throw myself into fixing (hence, the avoidance).

Really start running again. No joke. Like 4 times a week. For 30 minutes a session. No, seriously. I'm going to do it this time.

Go to Skinklinic once a month.

Get my hair cut once a month.

Finally try highlights.

Stop wearing sheer nail polish. Even if it means getting manicures weekly. I live in New York, I'm allowed to be high maintenance.

Stop apologizing for myself.

Learn how to tell one good joke.

Start writing in again.

Read one political book and one fiction book each month.

Read more in Spanish.

Learn how to cook.

Start going to church again...at least on the holidays.

Start saying yes when my friends invite me to places and stop missing out on fun things for lame reasons like "the weather" and "I don't have anything to wear" or "I'm just so tired" or "they only invited me because they felt bad."

Stop being so damn hard on myself.

Stop being so insecure.

Start taking violin lessons again.

Actually furnish my apartment one of these months.

Buy fewer handbags so I can actually afford to furnish my apartment one of these months.

Learn how to take a compliment.

Learn how to like boys who give me compliments.

Stop being so insistent on learning things the hard way.

Know when enough is enough. As in, "you just don't know when to quit, do you?"

Stop hoarding fashion magazines. There will never be a situation where I will need to reference that article on how to wear purple eyeliner from Vogue's 1995 fall fashion issue.

Stop being so sentimental.

Stop being the one-stop-gossip-shop for everyone I know.

Start getting 8-10 hours of sleep every night.

Keep up with sending my friends cards on their birthdays and holidays.

Repurchase all the old favorite CDs I've lost over the years. This refers mainly to my U2 collection. I'm tired of humming "Achtung Baby" in my head.

Stop not emailing friends who live abroad or far away unless something exciting is going on in my life.

Stop placing such high expectations on needing to have excitement in my life.

Stop being so hard on myself.

Start loving the fact that I am, apparently, "too much for some people to handle." It's not going to change, so I may as well embrace my obnoxiousness...er, vivacious personality. Yeah, that's it.

Start letting people win arguments occasionally. As in, "I'll never be able to win with you, Babycakes, will I?"

Stop setting out to ruin good things that come my way.

Start listening better.

Start buying more NARS.

Stop babbling. Now.