Doing what needs to be done.

I don't wanna be no man's woman

It don't make me happy this mantrolling

Thing that you got for me so I become

No man's woman

I don't wanna be no man's woman

I've other work I want to get done

I haven't traveled this far to become

No man's woman

No Man's woman

Cuz I'm tired of it

And I'm not scared of it

That I'll never trust again

Cuz a man could fake you

Take your soul and make you

Miserable in so much pain

My friends think I'm alone but I've got secrets

I don't tell everything about the love I get

I got a lovin man but he's a spirit

He never does me harm never treats me bad

He never takes away all the love he has

And I forgive him a million times

I'm never tired of it

And I'm not scared of it

Cuz it doesn't cause me pain

Like a man could fake you

Take your soul and make you

Never be yourself again

I never wanna be no man's woman

I only wanna be my own woman

I haven't traveled this far to become

No man's woman

No man's woman

No man's woman

©Sinead O'Connor

Resurrecting an Old Post

Whatever happened to this??? Clearly, I should have stuck to it. My life (and wallet) would be so much happier now!

I think I'm going to start a new "diet", though. Since I'm trying to get rid of these last ten-okay, twenty-pounds, I am not going to buy anymore clothes. From now on, all purchases will be limited to those things necessary for survival (i.e. food, hygiene products, and NARS lip gloss), and furniture for the new pad. Seriously, a girl's gotta eat and have a place to put her seat, right?! Okay, bad rhyme, Babycakes needs sleep. Night, all. :)

Wednesday, May 28, 2003
THE FASHION DIET PROCLAMATION

It’s official: I am going on a fashion diet. (Thanks to Steph, who coined the phrase!) For the next month, I will only buy what I need. Purchases will be limited to the following: food, transportation (to and from work, to and from my parents’ house, etc.), beauty/hygiene products (but only when I run out), and food. Oh wait, I listed food already. But anyway—it has to happen. My spending has gotten out of control, and reached such atrocious proportions that if I don’t stop soon, I will literally be—as Carrie on “Sex and the City” once lamented—that (not-so-little) old lady who lived in her shoes.

I’ll admit, this is not an original idea on my part. I have a friend who had been talking about the sad state of her checking account lately, due to the lure of the Great Outdoor Shopping Mall that is New York. It’s true, there is temptation everywhere: from downtown to uptown, department stores, cute boutiques, and even street vendors beckon to the young Manhattanite. “Come on in!” “Sale!” “Buy! Buy! Buy!” If a girl doesn’t watch herself, she could end up coming home from work with shopping bags full of mere garbage, all of which seemed like urgent, must-have purchases at the time. All it takes is a quick stop into Saks for a refill of your staple NARS eyeshadow (Bellissima, of course), followed by a pit stop into Ann Taylor to look at the silk twinsets on sale, then a nanosecond’s peek in that discreet jewelry store with the cute evening bags in the window, and suddenly your walk home has spiraled into a full-on shopping spree.

Going through my closet yesterday to prepare myself for a trip to the cleaners, I found two of the exact same shirt—yup, from the same shop and everything—both with the tags still on. Going through my wallet, I found receipts for items I can’t even remember ever wanting, never mind buying, but a quick scroll through my hair accessories drawer was all it took to confirm—sure enough! I found an entire plastic case full of Velcro rollers, in varied sizes and colors, mind you! Thinking back on all of the things I’ve bought on impulse over the past few weeks, a mind-boggling array of, well, stuff comes to mind. There was that cute black mesh shirt “to go out in” from H&M; the entire White Tea and Ginger line of bath products from Bath and Body Works (they had a Buy 3, Get 1 Free sale); 3 pairs of wedge sandals because I kept having things to go to and no shoes to wear; two new sets of shampoo and conditioner (new haircut necessitated changing lines); socks and nylons (boring, needed those, blah blah blah); the NARS “Feel the Heat” summer collection; a gray pinstripe skirt from Banana Republic (slit is too high, must be returned, but I think there’s a spot on it); 1 pair of peep-toe slingbacks (so cute for work and dinners out); a metal evening clutch with a martini glass on the front; and tons more stuff I could list except I’m beginning to think Evan is correct and New York has really gotten to me.

My addiction to shopping probably has some deep-rooted psychological meaning, but exploring that would mean spending money on a doctor and, quite frankly, finding the perfect shoe for every possible occasion is a much higher priority to me right now. So please join me in my quest for financial cleansing—I am going on a Fashion Diet, a Wallet Detox, an Austerity Plan for my checkbook. Whatever you choose to call it, I’m not spending unless I have to, and well, folks, I’m scared. The fun starts June 9.

# posted by Phat : 10:43 AM

Five Card (Is He a) Stud?

I really need to learn how to not lay all my cards out on the table in the manner which I am clearly so fond of doing.

Update, Out of Date?

So almost a week has past by since I've turned 26. It was quite the birthday! In addition to the four bouquets of flowers being delivered to the office from some very special people. :) I took pictures of them all, and will share once I get that roll of film developed!

I'm pretty tired tonight, as last night was pretty intense on several different wavelengths. I do want to take this opportunity to introduce you to my friend Darlene's blog! Darlene is one of my oldest friends--I met her as a freshman in college, where we lived on the same floor, and eventually ended up in the same sorority. She was my roommate for almost three years (two officially, and one--freshman year--when her roommate sucked and she basically camped out in my room). So, without further ado...world, get ready to meet my favorite crack-up, beautiful, sorority sister who is like Gladd wrap b/c I can't get rid of her...

DARLENE!

Enjoy. :)

Happy Birthday to Me

Daily Horoscope
Sun Sign: Gemini
June 9, 2004

The universe is inviting you magnify your vision, dear Gemini. It's time to see the bigger, the better, the more advanced side of things. Remember that life is a mirror; you are highly unlikely to receive more than you hope for. So dream big, hope big, imagine yourself in the stars. Don't sell yourself short - it's a misuse of humility and modesty.
*from MSN Astrology

Resolutions

This morning, on the day before my 26th birthday, I resolve to:

Stop eating until my belly is full and bloated, to the point where I feel like I could throw up, and my jeans don't want to stay buttoned of their own accord anymore. (This will probably require giving up jelly candies.)

Stop being attracted to narcissists.

Stop being wildly attracted to narcissists with issues that I think are "fixable."

Stop being so comfortable with avoidance of my own issues; making it thus more comfortable to be attracted to narcissists with issues for me to throw myself into fixing (hence, the avoidance).

Really start running again. No joke. Like 4 times a week. For 30 minutes a session. No, seriously. I'm going to do it this time.

Go to Skinklinic once a month.

Get my hair cut once a month.

Finally try highlights.

Stop wearing sheer nail polish. Even if it means getting manicures weekly. I live in New York, I'm allowed to be high maintenance.

Stop apologizing for myself.

Learn how to tell one good joke.

Start writing in again.

Read one political book and one fiction book each month.

Read more in Spanish.

Learn how to cook.

Start going to church again...at least on the holidays.

Start saying yes when my friends invite me to places and stop missing out on fun things for lame reasons like "the weather" and "I don't have anything to wear" or "I'm just so tired" or "they only invited me because they felt bad."

Stop being so damn hard on myself.

Stop being so insecure.

Start taking violin lessons again.

Actually furnish my apartment one of these months.

Buy fewer handbags so I can actually afford to furnish my apartment one of these months.

Learn how to take a compliment.

Learn how to like boys who give me compliments.

Stop being so insistent on learning things the hard way.

Know when enough is enough. As in, "you just don't know when to quit, do you?"

Stop hoarding fashion magazines. There will never be a situation where I will need to reference that article on how to wear purple eyeliner from Vogue's 1995 fall fashion issue.

Stop being so sentimental.

Stop being the one-stop-gossip-shop for everyone I know.

Start getting 8-10 hours of sleep every night.

Keep up with sending my friends cards on their birthdays and holidays.

Repurchase all the old favorite CDs I've lost over the years. This refers mainly to my U2 collection. I'm tired of humming "Achtung Baby" in my head.

Stop not emailing friends who live abroad or far away unless something exciting is going on in my life.

Stop placing such high expectations on needing to have excitement in my life.

Stop being so hard on myself.

Start loving the fact that I am, apparently, "too much for some people to handle." It's not going to change, so I may as well embrace my obnoxiousness...er, vivacious personality. Yeah, that's it.

Start letting people win arguments occasionally. As in, "I'll never be able to win with you, Babycakes, will I?"

Stop setting out to ruin good things that come my way.

Start listening better.

Start buying more NARS.

Stop babbling. Now.

Ahh, springtime...

It's always nice to pass two officers dressed up in riot gear on your way to work. What I liked the most about them was the relative ease with which they were able to shoot the breeze by the coffee truck, while nonchalantly carrying machine guns which were easily as long as each of my arms. Good morning, New York!

Is this thing on? Christening the blog.

Welcome to my new blog. You can expect this entry to be bland, sort of like the first time you email a blind date--full of pleasantries exchanged between myself (the writer) and you (the reader), but lacking any real substance. Why? I think it mainly happens this way for two reasons: first, it's nerve-wracking being the person who makes the initial move; and second, because I'm too afraid to show you my true self yet! Hopefully we can both overcome these barriers. Now that I've made the initial move, maybe you'll want to visit me again tomorrow to find out more.

Ever since Steph and I started talking about setting up a blog for the two of us, I've been thinking about starting one of my own. Since deleting the first one, I've tried to keep a real journal, then I tried a Live Journal, and neither were ever really as effective as my original Blogger site. I like the format, the ease you can post, and for me, basically being a spaz who types faster than she thinks (and my mind works fast, kiddos), it's good to be able to get my thoughts out quickly. And believe me--I've had a lot of them lately. From breaking up with my boyfriend, moving into my own apartment, job anxieties, trying to lose weight, and basically juggling everything else that comes with working and living in the Manhattan area, I've got a lot on my mind these days. The first thing that comes to mind is that Bob Grant expression: "it's a sick world out there, folks, and it's getting sicker!"

Well, that's it for now. Here's hoping this blog will be one of your daily "must reads." Unfortunately, I can't promise to entertain you...although I certainly have no problems entertaining myself!